Evangelism... tangled in my heartstrings

As a member of the FLY 2011 Committee, there are several convention areas that I am responsible for. The first three areas weren’t necessarily chosen because of my interests or aptitude, though some fit better than others. Then there is Evangelism... Uff da. This is the one area that I really, really want to fit me.
If there is one thing I am learning about evangelism right now, it is that evangelism is a visceral, often painful process that might often seem to be absolutely fruitless. However, that hasn’t always been my experience.
Though it was a bit of a culture shock transferring from a conservative Bible School to a liberal university for college, I’d say my faith thrived there. As editor of the conservative student publication, each month I wrote an article from a Christian perspective that both atheists and Christians found highly thought-provoking, and as a student leader, I often had random members of the campus community approach me to get the “definitive” Christian perspective. Mixed in with that oh-so-human pride and that oh-so-divine humility was just plain elation that I had finally “gotten it,” had finally learned how to live out my faith in my daily life and reach close friends and acquaintances alike!
That was until God took me to my current location. When I knew God was calling me to be a teacher I expected it to be a ministry, especially when I got a job offer to come to the Cheyenne River reservation in South Dakota. Because of my unique position at an alternative school, I actually have tons of opportunities to share my faith. When kids ask me what I do on the weekends, I tell them. When they ask me why in the world I’m smiling while my broken-down car is in the shop, I tell them.
Regardless, I am learning that evangelism in some situations is much more painful than in my earlier experiences. Evangelism means “the act of sharing good news.” However, the good news can only come after the bad: that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) The meaning of law and gospel doctrine is that one message is empty without the other, but together, the two make a beautiful change inside someone’s life. Here’s the twist in my life on the reservation: my kids all know the bad news already. They all know that people are messed up and that they have no hope on their own. As the evangelist, I am the one being continually reminded of the bad news, and being continually overcome by the beauty of the good news. Now if only my kids would believe that second part, too!
Before you get pictures in your head of me (or any other Christian) being the conquering Christian warrior, I have one more thing to tell you: besides being gut-wrenchingly painful, I’ve also discovered that the rewards of evangelism are very rarely of this world. In all my seed-planting, I can’t tell you one story about someone coming personally to me and asking for help in giving his or her life to Christ. That’s OK, though. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:5 that those who pursue earthly goals receive their full rewards on earth. Think of the blessings we have waiting for us in Heaven, those treasures which we know will be utterly worthless to us there, compared to seeing His face!