Reflection and vision really are two sides to the same coin--a coin that many people either do not possess or never handle--that of knowing oneself. In every single role I play--teacher, daughter, friend, and servant of God--I need not only to have this coin in my pocket but also to often take it out and make good use of it. If I never once question my motives or approach in a situation, I may never allow the Holy Spirit to take control and mend my flaws. If I never think ahead to what God may want to accomplish through me, my church, and my family, I may miss a beautiful opportunity for ministry.
Although It’s a Wonderful Life is not a Christian movie, it prompts me to examine my life to see if I am living for God. In this film, Jimmy Stewart’s character wishes that he had never been born, and by getting a glimpse of his world without him, begins to comprehend the extraordinary purpose of his life. If I were not a member of my family, my school district, my community, or my church, how might these places be different? If I can think of no material difference, why am I here? I know God did not place me here so that I could simply live an unexceptional life and then be peacefully ushered into Glory. What has He called me to do right here, right now?
There are some Christians that really stand out to us as being inspirational and strong in the faith. Why might this be? Do they pray more, do they spend more time in His Word, do they share the gospel more, or were they simply born with an extra measure of grace? If we let ourselves get hung up on these questions, we will always look with envy upon some Christians, with contempt upon others, and with confusion upon ourselves. When we are “doing well” we will struggle to give all the glory to God, and when we fail, all the work God has given us to do could be lost in personal defeat.
These thoughts lead me to the Apostle Paul, whose sharp criticism regarding spiritual life both annoys and refreshes me. When he is forced to defend himself on charges of duplicity or laziness, such as in II Corinthians 11 and 12, he strongly vouches for his own conduct and position in Christ’s service, which seems uncomfortable, but is apparently necessary. However, at other moments he calls himself the worst of sinners and speaks vulnerably of his frustrations along the road to sanctification, such as in Romans 7:15,24: “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do[...] Who will rescue me from this body of death?” I can rejoice with Paul that I know my Savior and Redeemer, and I can also take Paul’s advice when he tells us in Romans 12:3 to “think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”
This reminds me that sensible reflection walks the middle line between pride and self-deprecation, and opens the door for godly vision into the future. Is it true that “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18)? While we might not physically die from a want of reflection on the past and a vision for God’s future plans, we will certainly experience a kind of soul death. If our faith does not influence the way we meditate on both the past and the future, what kind of impact will our lives make on the world around us, and for what can God use us?
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Who Are You to Judge Another's Servant?
How can we justify telling others what God wants them to do with their lives, such as what career they should pursue, where they should live, or how they should raise their children? Though I could go into detail about different ways in which Christians judge each other, including matters of Christian freedom (the original context for the title of this article, Romans 14:4), I need to focus on the call to missions and ministry. I’m going to take a page from Jason Holt at this year’s AFLC Youth Worker’s Retreat and ask all my readers to raise their right hands and repeat after me: “I am not the Holy Spirit.” I admit that God at times uses a harsh word from another Christian to challenge or teach us, but I don’t think that gives us license to play that role.
Some Christians try to issue the call to missions themselves. I may thoroughly understand that I cannot bring someone to salvation, but I also cannot truly call someone into ministry. Only the Holy Spirit can speak to someone’s heart in that way. Many of my friends from Bible School, particularly the men, felt a good deal of pressure to become pastors or overseas missionaries, whether or not they had been called by God. Many of my classmates went into youth ministry after Bible School as well, many of them with no conviction except that youth ministry is what Bible School graduates should do. These expectations, whatever their origin, plant seeds of confusion and guilt that are certainly not from God.
Then there are the naysayers. If those who push their brothers into ministry are playing the Holy Spirit, those who try to discourage their brothers from their calling are playing the devil, as Peter did in Matthew 16:23, which should be a sobering thought. It can be as subtle as saying, “Why would you go overseas when we need you here?” People from all over the world are coming to the Midwest, which means opportunities for reaching the unreached are increasing exponentially there. However, if we use this fact to dissuade someone from ministering in Somalia, we are messing with Another’s business.
Another way that I can fall into judging is when I see someone who is in a crisis regarding her calling. When we say that God has a unique plan for each of His children, we do not know the half of it! Over the last few years two of my girlfriends have had surprising detours in ministry. One of them met the love of her life right before leaving for the field and quickly married him, and though they decided to wait for him to finish school, they are now preparing for a ministry together. The other left her boyfriend for the field just as they were becoming serious, saying that she had to obey God’s call, and they were reunited while she was on medical furlough and he was on a military base in the same country. She is married and living back in the States now, and God has given her new dreams.
If you are guilty of meddling with God’s work in someone’s life, I pray you will be humble enough to confess it and draw back. My dad showed me this example when I was in college and thinking about teaching overseas. When I told him I thought Iraq would be an amazing place to teach, he told me bluntly that I was not going there. A few weeks later we talked again and he apologized. He told me that if God wanted me to go to Iraq or anywhere else in the world, I would certainly have to go. Encourage your fellow Christians to please God and not man!
Some Christians try to issue the call to missions themselves. I may thoroughly understand that I cannot bring someone to salvation, but I also cannot truly call someone into ministry. Only the Holy Spirit can speak to someone’s heart in that way. Many of my friends from Bible School, particularly the men, felt a good deal of pressure to become pastors or overseas missionaries, whether or not they had been called by God. Many of my classmates went into youth ministry after Bible School as well, many of them with no conviction except that youth ministry is what Bible School graduates should do. These expectations, whatever their origin, plant seeds of confusion and guilt that are certainly not from God.
Then there are the naysayers. If those who push their brothers into ministry are playing the Holy Spirit, those who try to discourage their brothers from their calling are playing the devil, as Peter did in Matthew 16:23, which should be a sobering thought. It can be as subtle as saying, “Why would you go overseas when we need you here?” People from all over the world are coming to the Midwest, which means opportunities for reaching the unreached are increasing exponentially there. However, if we use this fact to dissuade someone from ministering in Somalia, we are messing with Another’s business.
Another way that I can fall into judging is when I see someone who is in a crisis regarding her calling. When we say that God has a unique plan for each of His children, we do not know the half of it! Over the last few years two of my girlfriends have had surprising detours in ministry. One of them met the love of her life right before leaving for the field and quickly married him, and though they decided to wait for him to finish school, they are now preparing for a ministry together. The other left her boyfriend for the field just as they were becoming serious, saying that she had to obey God’s call, and they were reunited while she was on medical furlough and he was on a military base in the same country. She is married and living back in the States now, and God has given her new dreams.
If you are guilty of meddling with God’s work in someone’s life, I pray you will be humble enough to confess it and draw back. My dad showed me this example when I was in college and thinking about teaching overseas. When I told him I thought Iraq would be an amazing place to teach, he told me bluntly that I was not going there. A few weeks later we talked again and he apologized. He told me that if God wanted me to go to Iraq or anywhere else in the world, I would certainly have to go. Encourage your fellow Christians to please God and not man!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Bursting Forth in Glorious Day!
I have to admit, I spent the first fifteen years of my life nearly indifferent to Easter. Compared to Christmas, how could a feastless, presentless holiday like Easter really compete? Even more obvious than that, a holiday celebrating a birth is a whole lot more fun than a holiday about a death. Then again, maybe I had forgotten that Easter wasn’t really about a death... or may I didn’t fully understand the death behind it.
Good Friday music probably started the process. One year my youth group did a human video to Ray Boltz’s song “Watch the Lamb.” In spite of the giggles and jokes that interrupted our practices (visions of a lamb dragging two little boys through the streets of Jerusalem), I was shaken during the performance by that beauty in God’s sacrifice which reached perfection in the ugliness of sorrow.
After I realized the ugliness and the beauty of Good Friday, I could more fully appreciate the “bursting forth in glorious day” of Easter. That line is from a rich modern-day hymn called “In Christ Alone,” and to hear the shouts and cheers during this line on the radio or in church can make any day glorious, Easter or not. Only after I understood that victory was my soul able to heartily thrill at the sounds of “Christ the Lord is Risen Today” and “Up from the Grave He Arose.”
I also had to ask myself the eternal Easter question: Why did Jesus have to die? More often than not, I wind up trying to use the “deep magic” of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia to explain it: all who have chosen to join in the rebellion against the King of kings are consigned to a traitor’s death without a Hero to rescue them, the King Himself.
What we so often do not understand is that it is not Satan that demands this satisfaction, but God the Father, who is so pure and just that to ignore our sin would be going against His very nature. His unfathomable justice and mercy were both satisfied in the deal He proposed: “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” That is from 2 Corinthians 5:21, and is just one of many verses that explains the exchange that took place. We, who are nothing special in ourselves, are poor sacrifices either way--whether we are taken to be eternally punished for our own sin or we humbly give ourselves to our Lord in gratitude. This is why the Father’s substitution was effective, because His blameless Son soaked up every sin that had been or would be committed throughout earthly history and in turn imparted His righteousness to those humans who hear His call. In this way, God’s wrath against sin is perfectly satisfied, and He accepts us as His own children with His Son’s righteousness!
This year, I must confess that Christmas only increased my anticipation of celebrating Jesus’ sacrifice and victory, and my longing for His return. This year during Lent, I pray we would all be pierced by the meaning of Jesus’ death, and that the shout of victory we raise on Easter would be heard around the world by those who long for reconciliation.
Good Friday music probably started the process. One year my youth group did a human video to Ray Boltz’s song “Watch the Lamb.” In spite of the giggles and jokes that interrupted our practices (visions of a lamb dragging two little boys through the streets of Jerusalem), I was shaken during the performance by that beauty in God’s sacrifice which reached perfection in the ugliness of sorrow.
After I realized the ugliness and the beauty of Good Friday, I could more fully appreciate the “bursting forth in glorious day” of Easter. That line is from a rich modern-day hymn called “In Christ Alone,” and to hear the shouts and cheers during this line on the radio or in church can make any day glorious, Easter or not. Only after I understood that victory was my soul able to heartily thrill at the sounds of “Christ the Lord is Risen Today” and “Up from the Grave He Arose.”
I also had to ask myself the eternal Easter question: Why did Jesus have to die? More often than not, I wind up trying to use the “deep magic” of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia to explain it: all who have chosen to join in the rebellion against the King of kings are consigned to a traitor’s death without a Hero to rescue them, the King Himself.
What we so often do not understand is that it is not Satan that demands this satisfaction, but God the Father, who is so pure and just that to ignore our sin would be going against His very nature. His unfathomable justice and mercy were both satisfied in the deal He proposed: “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” That is from 2 Corinthians 5:21, and is just one of many verses that explains the exchange that took place. We, who are nothing special in ourselves, are poor sacrifices either way--whether we are taken to be eternally punished for our own sin or we humbly give ourselves to our Lord in gratitude. This is why the Father’s substitution was effective, because His blameless Son soaked up every sin that had been or would be committed throughout earthly history and in turn imparted His righteousness to those humans who hear His call. In this way, God’s wrath against sin is perfectly satisfied, and He accepts us as His own children with His Son’s righteousness!
This year, I must confess that Christmas only increased my anticipation of celebrating Jesus’ sacrifice and victory, and my longing for His return. This year during Lent, I pray we would all be pierced by the meaning of Jesus’ death, and that the shout of victory we raise on Easter would be heard around the world by those who long for reconciliation.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
And we grow, grow, grow!
I graduated from our Bible School over five years ago now, but my youngest sister’s senior year at AFLBS has caused me to reflect on why God wanted me there. My sister has been trying to figure that out for herself, and I have told her I suppose I don’t understand each part of His purpose in my life either. I suppose it is easier for those who left Bible School with spouses or fiances to assume they know why God sent them there, but obviously God’s plan is a whole lot bigger than that. As for me, it was during my two years at AFLBS that I decided on my major and my vocation and made many wonderful friends. But really, why did God want me there?
In many ways, Bible School would seem to contain all the ideal conditions for Christian growth, wouldn’t it? Students are fed from God’s Word daily in classes, given many opportunities for prayer, strongly encouraged to have daily personal devotions, and required to get involved in at least one type of Christian ministry or service. How could any flower help but bud and bloom in that environment? To most Christians, a place like AFLBS is as close to a spiritual greenhouse as one can get. If you are considering Bible School, know that it is a wonderful, blessed place to be, one that God has used to break and build up many.
However, the greenhouse is not the only place that provides growth, especially if your plant is of the human variety. A plant does not just need sunlight and warmth--it needs rain, too, and may even need a chill to produce a blossom. I say this both because God has a different way that each of us will fit into His master plan and because very few of us will be called to stay in an environment like Bible School for our entire lives. God seems to lead most of us through a variety of settings to facilitate growth, from the greenhouse to the desert to the musty basement (or from Bible School to a secular university to a summer working at a factory, in some cases).
Then there are several different types of growth that Jesus has for us as our gardener, and most of them fit under growth by increase and growth by decrease. Growth by increase would be the more conventional, pleasant way to grow, like the tree placidly and prosperously growing in Psalm 1. That kind of growth can certainly happen at Bible School as individuals steadily increase in knowledge, in faith, and in the fruits of the Spirit. Growth by decrease, on the other hand, is that pruning process that Jesus mentions in John 15. It is a loss of something sinful or unproductive to cleanse the vine to make it stronger. This also can happen at Bible School, as members of the community may need to give up some habits, some relationships, and some ministry opportunities in order to become stronger and rely more fully on God.
Are you where you need to be for God to help you grow? Are you in a place where you are able to hear Him, and more to the point, are you making a personal effort to listen to Him? Consider AFLBS as a place to find your greenhouse or desert. Just don’t assume that you know better than your gardener what kind of soil you need!
In many ways, Bible School would seem to contain all the ideal conditions for Christian growth, wouldn’t it? Students are fed from God’s Word daily in classes, given many opportunities for prayer, strongly encouraged to have daily personal devotions, and required to get involved in at least one type of Christian ministry or service. How could any flower help but bud and bloom in that environment? To most Christians, a place like AFLBS is as close to a spiritual greenhouse as one can get. If you are considering Bible School, know that it is a wonderful, blessed place to be, one that God has used to break and build up many.
However, the greenhouse is not the only place that provides growth, especially if your plant is of the human variety. A plant does not just need sunlight and warmth--it needs rain, too, and may even need a chill to produce a blossom. I say this both because God has a different way that each of us will fit into His master plan and because very few of us will be called to stay in an environment like Bible School for our entire lives. God seems to lead most of us through a variety of settings to facilitate growth, from the greenhouse to the desert to the musty basement (or from Bible School to a secular university to a summer working at a factory, in some cases).
Then there are several different types of growth that Jesus has for us as our gardener, and most of them fit under growth by increase and growth by decrease. Growth by increase would be the more conventional, pleasant way to grow, like the tree placidly and prosperously growing in Psalm 1. That kind of growth can certainly happen at Bible School as individuals steadily increase in knowledge, in faith, and in the fruits of the Spirit. Growth by decrease, on the other hand, is that pruning process that Jesus mentions in John 15. It is a loss of something sinful or unproductive to cleanse the vine to make it stronger. This also can happen at Bible School, as members of the community may need to give up some habits, some relationships, and some ministry opportunities in order to become stronger and rely more fully on God.
Are you where you need to be for God to help you grow? Are you in a place where you are able to hear Him, and more to the point, are you making a personal effort to listen to Him? Consider AFLBS as a place to find your greenhouse or desert. Just don’t assume that you know better than your gardener what kind of soil you need!
Sunday, January 08, 2012
With Him in the Center of the Storm
My life hasn’t been all that difficult, but it is rarely easy, either. The best way to describe my time so far would be somewhere in between those two adjectives--let’s try blessed. What is blessing, or what does it mean to be “blessed”? The longer I live, the more my definition of that concept changes. Go ahead and chuckle if you need to--I know I haven’t lived that long, but long enough to marvel at God’s faithfulness.
The last two places where God has led me--Morris, MN and Eagle Butte, SD--have been both breathtakingly beautiful and shockingly painful by turns. It’s not just a cliché when pastors tell you the most peaceful place is in the eye of the storm. I know this--His presence is typically the most palpable when I begin to think that my worst fears are coming true. Since I started teaching teenagers, I have been dreading the day that one of my students goes to jail to do hard time, and praying fervently against any of them committing suicide. Both of those fears have reared their heads within the last semester, though the alleged suicide attempt was not successful. However, guess what I found out? When those moments come, which they will, God will still be there, and He will not allow me to be shaken. As I sat on the floor of the cafeteria cradling my student’s head and stroking his hair while we waited for the paramedics, there was room for nothing in my heart but peace. While my heart did sink when I heard what one of my graduates had gotten into, His peace again enveloped me and left no room for despair.
Lines from a few songs are overtaking me as I think of how good my God is. The first is “How He Loves,” by John Mark McMillan, and the line that steals my breath away explains how I can entirely transcend my fears: “All of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.” We may rightly worry about those who deny their problems, but if we can’t tear our eyes away from His face, it is only to be expected that our troubles would blur until they scarcely seem to exist.
When I consider what I have learned, I also think of the chorus from a beautiful song by Laura Story that is appropriately entitled “Blessings”: “What if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? And what if trials of this life are Your mercy in disguise?” God brings pain and sorrow into our lives to drive us to Him and to make us hunger for Heaven. Later in the song the writer adds, “What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?” I know now that I will never ask God for an easy or painless life, because that would be empty and meaningless. At the beginning of this coming year, I will ask Him for a rich year, full of all the tears, laughter, beauty, and pain that He wants to bestow on me.
The last two places where God has led me--Morris, MN and Eagle Butte, SD--have been both breathtakingly beautiful and shockingly painful by turns. It’s not just a cliché when pastors tell you the most peaceful place is in the eye of the storm. I know this--His presence is typically the most palpable when I begin to think that my worst fears are coming true. Since I started teaching teenagers, I have been dreading the day that one of my students goes to jail to do hard time, and praying fervently against any of them committing suicide. Both of those fears have reared their heads within the last semester, though the alleged suicide attempt was not successful. However, guess what I found out? When those moments come, which they will, God will still be there, and He will not allow me to be shaken. As I sat on the floor of the cafeteria cradling my student’s head and stroking his hair while we waited for the paramedics, there was room for nothing in my heart but peace. While my heart did sink when I heard what one of my graduates had gotten into, His peace again enveloped me and left no room for despair.
Lines from a few songs are overtaking me as I think of how good my God is. The first is “How He Loves,” by John Mark McMillan, and the line that steals my breath away explains how I can entirely transcend my fears: “All of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.” We may rightly worry about those who deny their problems, but if we can’t tear our eyes away from His face, it is only to be expected that our troubles would blur until they scarcely seem to exist.
When I consider what I have learned, I also think of the chorus from a beautiful song by Laura Story that is appropriately entitled “Blessings”: “What if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? And what if trials of this life are Your mercy in disguise?” God brings pain and sorrow into our lives to drive us to Him and to make us hunger for Heaven. Later in the song the writer adds, “What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?” I know now that I will never ask God for an easy or painless life, because that would be empty and meaningless. At the beginning of this coming year, I will ask Him for a rich year, full of all the tears, laughter, beauty, and pain that He wants to bestow on me.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Too much enrichment?
I don’t know about you, but “know-it-all’s” really bother me sometimes. You know, they’re the experts in pretty much every subject and always have a new piece of knowledge to share with you or anyone else in the room. My dad is sometimes this way, because he is very intelligent and knows a great deal about things in many different fields. We just chalked it up to his being an engineer, since it seems to be a common trait of other engineers our family knows. Since my dad does not have an arrogant bone in his body, he is rarely annoying when he shares his knowledge.
The time that I remember being most annoyed with people who seemed to know everything was on a road trip to Colorado. If any of you who were there are reading this post, don’t forget I love you, in spite of... well... My traveling buddies were all in various scientific fields--industrial engineering, chemistry, and biology, I believe. They were wonderful people, and all very intelligent. Know-it-all’s one and all, too. Our conversation topics ranged from raising sheep to theology, to the trucking industry, to societal trends in maturity, and to denominational distinctives. I like to talk--a lot--and about a wide range of topics, but this bunch really wore me out. Perhaps I was just feeling that inferiority that an English major may often feel when surrounded by science geniuses, but I know I looked at each one of them at some time during the night and shook my head, thinking, “Yeah, I bet you really are the best expert I could find on that topic in the American West.” Sarcastically, of course.
Ummm, here’s the reason I am bringing up this topic... I have to confess that I am a know-it-all. I’ve realized for a long time that I have this tendency, but I watch it more carefully in some settings than in others. It usually is a great quality to have as a teacher, especially when one works in a pretty collaborative setting like my school. First of all, if I don’t have a modicum of knowledge in every academic subject area I am not able to help my students as well as I should. Also, I want to spark the imagination of my under-resourced learners so that they see all the experiences that can be in store for them, academically and otherwise, and a wide range of knowledge helps there. My high schoolers work independently at their own pace, so there is great time for student-teacher interaction, which means when one of my freshmen asked me whether or not America currently had a king (not kidding), you had better believe she did not receive a simple “no.” I’m sure some of my kids get aggravated by that (Ask a simple question...), but many of them enjoy my little tangents and learn their material better because of them. I call it “enrichment.”
However, I’ve realized over the last two weeks that I’m not doing very well at turning my “enrichment tool” off after school. Two separate weekends convicted me and reminded me that in all my wisdom I can be very clueless. First, I joined my mother and my sister for Women of Faith in St. Paul (which was fabulous, by the way. I’m not sure if I’ll get around to blogging about it, but I was thoroughly entertained, blessed, and encouraged). Sometime during the second day, a small group of us were in the middle of conversation, and when I started to chip in my thoughts, my sister got my attention and said subtly, “Stop talking. You’ve talked enough.” I had thought I’d gotten to the point when I was good at knowing when to appropriately insert my ideas, but her comment made me consider that maybe I’m not quite there, or at least that I still have my moments of verbal steamroller. Later on that day she said something to the same effect that stung a little, and corrected me. I definitely got annoyed with her, but I also replayed the weekend quite a bit to see if I had been dominating a bit. I wasn’t sure, but I knew it was completely possible. My sister is usually right when she confronts me on that kind of thing.
The next weekend I was on a girls’ weekend in Rapid City with two of my best girlfriends in Eagle Butte, and we again had a fantastic time. However, there were at least two or three times (probably more) that I off-handedly mentioned some “factoid” or random thing that I had heard, and my friends and I had little mini-arguments over them that weren’t at all hostile but were unnecessary. I’m not sure my friends really picked up on those moments, but if they were bothered by them, I probably need to apologize. I hope they don’t make me go too far back in apologizing for these moments, because I know I get that way semi-often, and usually end up in stupid arguments.
My students in seventh grade asked me to go for a whole morning without smiling at them last Thursday. That was miserable. My research shows that a smile really does make Miss Osthus’ day go better. However, next time I’m with my friends, I’ll ask God to help me go for an evening without having a “Little Miss Know-it-all” moment. I think that will be much more helpful, and that I can find other ways to “enrich” the conversation!
The time that I remember being most annoyed with people who seemed to know everything was on a road trip to Colorado. If any of you who were there are reading this post, don’t forget I love you, in spite of... well... My traveling buddies were all in various scientific fields--industrial engineering, chemistry, and biology, I believe. They were wonderful people, and all very intelligent. Know-it-all’s one and all, too. Our conversation topics ranged from raising sheep to theology, to the trucking industry, to societal trends in maturity, and to denominational distinctives. I like to talk--a lot--and about a wide range of topics, but this bunch really wore me out. Perhaps I was just feeling that inferiority that an English major may often feel when surrounded by science geniuses, but I know I looked at each one of them at some time during the night and shook my head, thinking, “Yeah, I bet you really are the best expert I could find on that topic in the American West.” Sarcastically, of course.
Ummm, here’s the reason I am bringing up this topic... I have to confess that I am a know-it-all. I’ve realized for a long time that I have this tendency, but I watch it more carefully in some settings than in others. It usually is a great quality to have as a teacher, especially when one works in a pretty collaborative setting like my school. First of all, if I don’t have a modicum of knowledge in every academic subject area I am not able to help my students as well as I should. Also, I want to spark the imagination of my under-resourced learners so that they see all the experiences that can be in store for them, academically and otherwise, and a wide range of knowledge helps there. My high schoolers work independently at their own pace, so there is great time for student-teacher interaction, which means when one of my freshmen asked me whether or not America currently had a king (not kidding), you had better believe she did not receive a simple “no.” I’m sure some of my kids get aggravated by that (Ask a simple question...), but many of them enjoy my little tangents and learn their material better because of them. I call it “enrichment.”
However, I’ve realized over the last two weeks that I’m not doing very well at turning my “enrichment tool” off after school. Two separate weekends convicted me and reminded me that in all my wisdom I can be very clueless. First, I joined my mother and my sister for Women of Faith in St. Paul (which was fabulous, by the way. I’m not sure if I’ll get around to blogging about it, but I was thoroughly entertained, blessed, and encouraged). Sometime during the second day, a small group of us were in the middle of conversation, and when I started to chip in my thoughts, my sister got my attention and said subtly, “Stop talking. You’ve talked enough.” I had thought I’d gotten to the point when I was good at knowing when to appropriately insert my ideas, but her comment made me consider that maybe I’m not quite there, or at least that I still have my moments of verbal steamroller. Later on that day she said something to the same effect that stung a little, and corrected me. I definitely got annoyed with her, but I also replayed the weekend quite a bit to see if I had been dominating a bit. I wasn’t sure, but I knew it was completely possible. My sister is usually right when she confronts me on that kind of thing.
The next weekend I was on a girls’ weekend in Rapid City with two of my best girlfriends in Eagle Butte, and we again had a fantastic time. However, there were at least two or three times (probably more) that I off-handedly mentioned some “factoid” or random thing that I had heard, and my friends and I had little mini-arguments over them that weren’t at all hostile but were unnecessary. I’m not sure my friends really picked up on those moments, but if they were bothered by them, I probably need to apologize. I hope they don’t make me go too far back in apologizing for these moments, because I know I get that way semi-often, and usually end up in stupid arguments.
My students in seventh grade asked me to go for a whole morning without smiling at them last Thursday. That was miserable. My research shows that a smile really does make Miss Osthus’ day go better. However, next time I’m with my friends, I’ll ask God to help me go for an evening without having a “Little Miss Know-it-all” moment. I think that will be much more helpful, and that I can find other ways to “enrich” the conversation!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
In Exile... Waiting For Restoration!
Dear reader, tonight I have a strangely delicious concept to treat, one which you may or may not understand in all its comfort and beauty. The concept is that of exile, and it has been brought to my attention in various ways over the last month.
The most fundamental way in which exile has been constantly brought to my thoughts is through my devotions in the prophetic book of Ezekiel, from which I am trying to read a chapter every day. Ezekiel himself is an exile, having been taken from his native land in one of the emptyings of Jerusalem into Babylon. My notes say that he must have been taken, along with King Jehoiachin and 10,000 other Jews, a handful of years before the final siege of Jerusalem. God commissions him to foretell the fall of Jerusalem, future restoration, and other things further into the future.
One thing that strikes me is that those who had not yet been taken captive by Babylon and so remained in Jerusalem were quite ridiculously self-satisfied, and denied the future danger they must have seen coming. By saying, “Will it not soon be time to build houses? This city is a cooking pot, and we are the meat,” they implied that they who were left were obviously the “cream of the crop,” and that those who had been taken must have been in some way inferior. God directly contradicts them by saying that the real “meat” of their people were those that were murdered and thrown into the streets of Jerusalem for fighting against the evil in the land. He also calls the remnant that has been scattered to tell them that they will someday return to Him. Exile will not last forever.
The second thing that has placed exile in my mind has been reading Perfecting Ourselves to Death, a book that I was given when I was on internship with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship several years ago. I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree, which is probably why I never got around to reading it, but I finally decided it was time to start burrowing into my book pile, and this one was toward the top, partly because I have some perfectionists in my life, and was considering passing it on later. Several chapters in this book struck a chord with me, not as a perfectionist but as a human, and one with a philosophical bent. Most interesting to me was a discussion of the spiritual causes of unhealthy perfectionism--that of knowing we were created for perfection.
Yum. [Don’t ask me why that’s the first word that comes to mind, except that anything that is comforting or delightful to me is instantly equated with food. : ) That’s why, while I don’t think every Christian has to fast from food regularly, I do.] Anyway, I read this passage right after doing my devotions one lovely weekend afternoon, and was it ever a beautiful combination of words to teach me and heal my soul. Hmmm, was I tired and miserable because I don’t belong in Eagle Butte? No, I was tired and miserable because I don’t belong in this world at all and I needed the assistance of my heavenly Father to get through one more week without being physically in His presence.
Right around the time I finished Perfecting Ourselves to Death, I started True Story, by James Choung, which I picked up at the lovely Bear Trap Ranch this summer. The themes of exile and restoration run through this entire book as well. Caleb, the main character in this book, has been a Christian for a long time, but starts strongly questioning his understanding of the gospel after going on a mission trip and then meeting a beautiful wannabe atheist in one of his classes. On his mission trip, he is involved in amazing ministry and knows he is following in Jesus’ footsteps by serving the poor, but he gets discouraged when he has no converts to report in church and his college pastor seems to be disappointed in him. The beautiful wannabe atheist is very bitter against the church and her family in particular, and she characterizes all Christians as materialistic hypocrites.
Both of these experiences drive Caleb to accept a new worldview, offered by one of his Christian professors. He moves from an understanding of a God who saves souls from Hell one by one and then waits for them in Heaven to seeing that He, as the Creator of the world who saw it fatally damaged by sin, now has a mission to restore all of creation to Himself. Caleb realizes that his job of sharing the “message of reconciliation” (II Cor. 5:19), is so much bigger and more exciting that handing out tracts showing people how to cross the chasm of separation from God. Instead, this commission encompasses every spiritual, political, moral, social, and even environmental evil and injustice. More than anything, he realizes God is much bigger than he ever knew, and that the whole world is longing to be made complete in Him. We all of us are in exile and in need of restoration.
The last thing that reminds me of my exile is my everyday experience in anticipation of Christ’s return. I wish I could say that I look to the heavens every morning and say, “Maybe today, Lord,” but I’m working on that. Even though I love my life and I am excited for different opportunities that may be waiting for me, and even though I would love to have a husband and children or even grandchildren of my own someday, if Jesus were to come back next week, well, would I or could I even consider being disappointed at what I would miss? Pretty sure not. I told my friend Amanda last night that whatever big life experiences I won’t have had by the time He comes back (if it is during my lifetime) will be nothing more than the ride I missed at the carnival or the art gallery I skipped in New Bern. To be in Heaven for eternity with my Savior must be adventure enough!
The most fundamental way in which exile has been constantly brought to my thoughts is through my devotions in the prophetic book of Ezekiel, from which I am trying to read a chapter every day. Ezekiel himself is an exile, having been taken from his native land in one of the emptyings of Jerusalem into Babylon. My notes say that he must have been taken, along with King Jehoiachin and 10,000 other Jews, a handful of years before the final siege of Jerusalem. God commissions him to foretell the fall of Jerusalem, future restoration, and other things further into the future.
One thing that strikes me is that those who had not yet been taken captive by Babylon and so remained in Jerusalem were quite ridiculously self-satisfied, and denied the future danger they must have seen coming. By saying, “Will it not soon be time to build houses? This city is a cooking pot, and we are the meat,” they implied that they who were left were obviously the “cream of the crop,” and that those who had been taken must have been in some way inferior. God directly contradicts them by saying that the real “meat” of their people were those that were murdered and thrown into the streets of Jerusalem for fighting against the evil in the land. He also calls the remnant that has been scattered to tell them that they will someday return to Him. Exile will not last forever.
The second thing that has placed exile in my mind has been reading Perfecting Ourselves to Death, a book that I was given when I was on internship with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship several years ago. I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree, which is probably why I never got around to reading it, but I finally decided it was time to start burrowing into my book pile, and this one was toward the top, partly because I have some perfectionists in my life, and was considering passing it on later. Several chapters in this book struck a chord with me, not as a perfectionist but as a human, and one with a philosophical bent. Most interesting to me was a discussion of the spiritual causes of unhealthy perfectionism--that of knowing we were created for perfection.
“The book of Genesis tells us that when God saw all that he had made, he pronounced it very good (Gen. 1:31). The implication is that God’s creation was perfect until it was marred by Adam and Eve’s disobedience. If this account is really true, then it would not be surprising that we have a memory of, and longing for, that original perfection built into our psyche. The Bible also tells us that we are made for something more than we experience daily in our imperfect, fallen state, and that some day the original harmony and perfection of creation will be restored. So, not only do we have memories of a perfect past, we have the expectation and hope of fulfillment and perfection in the future. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a letter to his son in which he reflected this longing: ‘Certainly there was an Eden on this very unhappy earth. We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it: our whole nature at its best and least corrupted, its gentlest and most humane, it is still soaked with the sense of ‘exile’’” (Winter 122).
Yum. [Don’t ask me why that’s the first word that comes to mind, except that anything that is comforting or delightful to me is instantly equated with food. : ) That’s why, while I don’t think every Christian has to fast from food regularly, I do.] Anyway, I read this passage right after doing my devotions one lovely weekend afternoon, and was it ever a beautiful combination of words to teach me and heal my soul. Hmmm, was I tired and miserable because I don’t belong in Eagle Butte? No, I was tired and miserable because I don’t belong in this world at all and I needed the assistance of my heavenly Father to get through one more week without being physically in His presence.
Right around the time I finished Perfecting Ourselves to Death, I started True Story, by James Choung, which I picked up at the lovely Bear Trap Ranch this summer. The themes of exile and restoration run through this entire book as well. Caleb, the main character in this book, has been a Christian for a long time, but starts strongly questioning his understanding of the gospel after going on a mission trip and then meeting a beautiful wannabe atheist in one of his classes. On his mission trip, he is involved in amazing ministry and knows he is following in Jesus’ footsteps by serving the poor, but he gets discouraged when he has no converts to report in church and his college pastor seems to be disappointed in him. The beautiful wannabe atheist is very bitter against the church and her family in particular, and she characterizes all Christians as materialistic hypocrites.
Both of these experiences drive Caleb to accept a new worldview, offered by one of his Christian professors. He moves from an understanding of a God who saves souls from Hell one by one and then waits for them in Heaven to seeing that He, as the Creator of the world who saw it fatally damaged by sin, now has a mission to restore all of creation to Himself. Caleb realizes that his job of sharing the “message of reconciliation” (II Cor. 5:19), is so much bigger and more exciting that handing out tracts showing people how to cross the chasm of separation from God. Instead, this commission encompasses every spiritual, political, moral, social, and even environmental evil and injustice. More than anything, he realizes God is much bigger than he ever knew, and that the whole world is longing to be made complete in Him. We all of us are in exile and in need of restoration.
The last thing that reminds me of my exile is my everyday experience in anticipation of Christ’s return. I wish I could say that I look to the heavens every morning and say, “Maybe today, Lord,” but I’m working on that. Even though I love my life and I am excited for different opportunities that may be waiting for me, and even though I would love to have a husband and children or even grandchildren of my own someday, if Jesus were to come back next week, well, would I or could I even consider being disappointed at what I would miss? Pretty sure not. I told my friend Amanda last night that whatever big life experiences I won’t have had by the time He comes back (if it is during my lifetime) will be nothing more than the ride I missed at the carnival or the art gallery I skipped in New Bern. To be in Heaven for eternity with my Savior must be adventure enough!
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