The Bombshell...

OK, in case you haven't heard yet, here it comes: I quit my job. Scroll down, it's not a joke! ;) As fun as this bombshell has been to drop this summer, it's certainly not for lack of love for my students that I am moving on. In fact, quite the contrary. I am not even leaving Eagle Butte. At least a year and a half ago I decided that the 2016-2017 school year would be my last at the E.A.G.L.E. Center. This was my first teaching job out of college, and I found it to be my dream job in many ways. However, teaching English to six grades wears on a person, to say the least, and there were so many other things I wanted to do. I also just finished paying off my student loans, as I shared last week, so I figured it was time to try something new.

The whole time I have been teaching I have also been working with the youth group at Emmanuel Free Lutheran and serving the community in various ways, and the Lord has led me to stay in Eagle Butte and keep doing all of that. I have committed to stay here in EB for at least one year, just working with local churches, pastors, and ministries. My friend and prayer partner Madison has come alongside me, inviting me to stay in her home rent-free and supporting me in many ways. Pastor Ben Farrar at First Baptist and Pastor Mark Richardson at Emmanuel Free Lutheran have been very supportive as well, and I am excited to help them in their ministries.

I am hoping to raise $1500 a month for living and ministry expenses, and a team is surrounding me to pray for me. I need prayer so much, as I know I will be facing challenges I can't even begin to anticipate during this year of ministry. If you want to get email updates, please send me your address, and if you want to hear more, message me or give me a call. I love Eagle Butte so much and am thankful that God isn't calling me to leave here yet!

Reversals of Destiny, part I

The theme of reversals of destiny is a tantalizing one to me that I had never really considered until I participated in Beth Moore’s Bible study Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman and read Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park. It was only then that I realized that, particularly for a Christian, reversals of destiny are breathtaking. One reason for this is because of II Corinthians 5:21: “God made Him who had no sin, to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

One totally new thing Beth Moore taught me relative to “reversals of destiny” is the literary device called “chiastic structure.” She used a pair of sticks with two colored ends on each stick (one stick with green ends and one with pink ends) to show how one of these structures works, but the idea is like an analogy turned upside-down. For example, the juxtaposition of either “living to eat” or “eating to live,” or that II Corinthians verse above would qualify as chiastic structure.

There are actually many chiastic structures and reversals of destiny in the book of Esther, but here is one obvious one: all that Haman has originally comes to Mordecai by the end of the story, and Haman also receives many of Mordecai’s blessings, down to the gallows that have been built for Mordecai’s destruction. There are a few more twists and ironies along the way, too. In chapter two Mordecai saves King Xerxes from a conspiracy, never receiving any reward, and at the beginning of chapter three Haman is promoted to Xerxes’ second-in-command, apparently for no real cause. Regardless, from that moment on Haman has as much power as he wants in Persia, as top advisor to a weak-minded, easily overwrought king. He has power, money, a supportive wife, and ten grown sons. He also has the comfort that any little discomfort that arises can be solved by manipulating his lord, and we can guess that he may have hopes of the crown someday (and as well as I’ve gotten to know Xerxes, I’d say it totally could have happened).

In the last day of his life, Justice soundly trounces Haman as he falls into a series of pits that he has dug for others (Proverbs 26:27). First he bears the terrible blow of having to serve and honor Mordecai, whom he has planned to execute himself, then his wife and his friends withdraw their support and tell him to give up on his mission of revenge on the Jewish people, and then Queen Esther exposes him as a manipulative opportunist and a murderer, leading to his own quick execution. His ten sons, who presumably try to carry out their father’s plan anyway by attacking the Jews on the appointed date, are killed months later. In contrast, Mordecai is finally honored for his faithful service to the king, is spared from two separate executions planned for him, is rightly made Xerxes’ right-hand man, and is given power to act on behalf of both the king and the queen, specifically regarding both Haman’s decree and Haman’s own estate.

The other profound reversal, which is dearer to my heart if not to my mind and my sense of irony, is the one that lines Queen Esther up with a totally fictional character, Fanny Price from Mansfield Park. As I poured over both of these books I was struck by the tumblers in which these women found themselves, both of which were a great deal richer and more complex than “rags-to-riches” or “Cinderella stories.” I will give more delicious details in my next post!

The Ministry of Reconciliation

This may seem obvious to you, but I will ask the question anyway: what is the endpoint of evangelism? I would like to suggest a few possible endpoints to evangelism that seem unBiblical, and then suggest an explanation that better encompasses God’s master plan. The endpoint to evangelism is not growing the church numerically. I am incredibly thankful that when God examines our works at the final judgment, as Paul describes in I Corinthians 3, He will not judge us by the notches in our salvation stick. As easy as it is to get confused, the number of souls saved through our ministry has very little to do with us. God will always provide the increase.

Though a true outcome of salvation involves another soul bound for Heaven, selling “fire insurance” is an unBiblical and hollow way to look at evangelism, as well. Immediately after Jesus’ ascension, some of His followers apparently hoped following Him had gotten that simple, but they were given a gentle hint when the angel asked them in Acts 1:11 what they were doing staring into the sky. I am understating greatly when I say that the Christian just waiting to meet his purpose in Heaven is missing out! The endpoint to effective evangelism is also not (nor should it ever appear to be) easier lives.

This may seem to conflict with my recommendation below, but I hope you will see there is a marked difference between reconciliation and a world or a life being “fixed.” Though I have been walking with Jesus for most of my life, and so do not really know life without Him, I would be hard-pressed to name a way in which He has made my life easier. Instead, I would say He makes my life livable. In responding to critics and skeptics to ridicule the concept of God as a crutch, I would agree with a pastor who said God is not a crutch but a pacemaker.

As an English teacher, I’ve seen plenty of horrible analogies, especially those trying to explain God and His inscrutable purposes. The following illustration, from James Choung’s compelling book True Story: A Christianity Worth Believing In, may not encompass the whole of the mission that Jesus has entrusted to us, but it goes deeper than other similar illustrations and I believe is timeless, though it may especially resonate with my generation. The undertones of social justice may turn some off, but in one of the clearest mission statements in the New Testament besides the Great Commission, II Corinthians 5, Paul makes it clear that the desire of God’s heart is to reconcile the entire world to Himself, and that He has a part for us to play in this redemptive work. The link for the illustration is below.

The starting point in the illustration is labeled “Designed for Good,” most directly referring to God’s good creation. After the fall of man, everything was broken and perverted for the Devil’s purposes, or “Damaged by Evil.” The crooked lines represent the brokenness in our relationship to the physical world, the brokenness in relationships with our fellow man, and the brokenness between us and God. The way that our Savior provided is represented by the two diagonal lines in the center of the illustration pointing toward the realization that we have been “Reclaimed For Better.” The last circle, which may makes us wince if we have experienced the apostasy of social gospel, nonetheless fits into God’s purpose for His kingdom on earth: “Sent Together to Heal.”

As we endeavor to follow our Master together, I exhort you to abandon all fixation on numerical growth, “fire insurance,” and easier lives. Every single one of these pitfalls may result in false converts, disillusioned evangelists, and believers who will neither mature nor experience the divine, abundant adventure for which we were created.

The Service of Reflection and Vision

Reflection and vision really are two sides to the same coin--a coin that many people either do not possess or never handle--that of knowing oneself. In every single role I play--teacher, daughter, friend, and servant of God--I need not only to have this coin in my pocket but also to often take it out and make good use of it. If I never once question my motives or approach in a situation, I may never allow the Holy Spirit to take control and mend my flaws. If I never think ahead to what God may want to accomplish through me, my church, and my family, I may miss a beautiful opportunity for ministry.

Although It’s a Wonderful Life is not a Christian movie, it prompts me to examine my life to see if I am living for God. In this film, Jimmy Stewart’s character wishes that he had never been born, and by getting a glimpse of his world without him, begins to comprehend the extraordinary purpose of his life. If I were not a member of my family, my school district, my community, or my church, how might these places be different? If I can think of no material difference, why am I here? I know God did not place me here so that I could simply live an unexceptional life and then be peacefully ushered into Glory. What has He called me to do right here, right now?

There are some Christians that really stand out to us as being inspirational and strong in the faith. Why might this be? Do they pray more, do they spend more time in His Word, do they share the gospel more, or were they simply born with an extra measure of grace? If we let ourselves get hung up on these questions, we will always look with envy upon some Christians, with contempt upon others, and with confusion upon ourselves. When we are “doing well” we will struggle to give all the glory to God, and when we fail, all the work God has given us to do could be lost in personal defeat.

These thoughts lead me to the Apostle Paul, whose sharp criticism regarding spiritual life both annoys and refreshes me. When he is forced to defend himself on charges of duplicity or laziness, such as in II Corinthians 11 and 12, he strongly vouches for his own conduct and position in Christ’s service, which seems uncomfortable, but is apparently necessary. However, at other moments he calls himself the worst of sinners and speaks vulnerably of his frustrations along the road to sanctification, such as in Romans 7:15,24: “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do[...] Who will rescue me from this body of death?” I can rejoice with Paul that I know my Savior and Redeemer, and I can also take Paul’s advice when he tells us in Romans 12:3 to “think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

This reminds me that sensible reflection walks the middle line between pride and self-deprecation, and opens the door for godly vision into the future. Is it true that “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18)? While we might not physically die from a want of reflection on the past and a vision for God’s future plans, we will certainly experience a kind of soul death. If our faith does not influence the way we meditate on both the past and the future, what kind of impact will our lives make on the world around us, and for what can God use us?

Who Are You to Judge Another's Servant?

How can we justify telling others what God wants them to do with their lives, such as what career they should pursue, where they should live, or how they should raise their children? Though I could go into detail about different ways in which Christians judge each other, including matters of Christian freedom (the original context for the title of this article, Romans 14:4), I need to focus on the call to missions and ministry. I’m going to take a page from Jason Holt at this year’s AFLC Youth Worker’s Retreat and ask all my readers to raise their right hands and repeat after me: “I am not the Holy Spirit.” I admit that God at times uses a harsh word from another Christian to challenge or teach us, but I don’t think that gives us license to play that role.

Some Christians try to issue the call to missions themselves. I may thoroughly understand that I cannot bring someone to salvation, but I also cannot truly call someone into ministry. Only the Holy Spirit can speak to someone’s heart in that way. Many of my friends from Bible School, particularly the men, felt a good deal of pressure to become pastors or overseas missionaries, whether or not they had been called by God. Many of my classmates went into youth ministry after Bible School as well, many of them with no conviction except that youth ministry is what Bible School graduates should do. These expectations, whatever their origin, plant seeds of confusion and guilt that are certainly not from God.

Then there are the naysayers. If those who push their brothers into ministry are playing the Holy Spirit, those who try to discourage their brothers from their calling are playing the devil, as Peter did in Matthew 16:23, which should be a sobering thought. It can be as subtle as saying, “Why would you go overseas when we need you here?” People from all over the world are coming to the Midwest, which means opportunities for reaching the unreached are increasing exponentially there. However, if we use this fact to dissuade someone from ministering in Somalia, we are messing with Another’s business.

Another way that I can fall into judging is when I see someone who is in a crisis regarding her calling. When we say that God has a unique plan for each of His children, we do not know the half of it! Over the last few years two of my girlfriends have had surprising detours in ministry. One of them met the love of her life right before leaving for the field and quickly married him, and though they decided to wait for him to finish school, they are now preparing for a ministry together. The other left her boyfriend for the field just as they were becoming serious, saying that she had to obey God’s call, and they were reunited while she was on medical furlough and he was on a military base in the same country. She is married and living back in the States now, and God has given her new dreams.

If you are guilty of meddling with God’s work in someone’s life, I pray you will be humble enough to confess it and draw back. My dad showed me this example when I was in college and thinking about teaching overseas. When I told him I thought Iraq would be an amazing place to teach, he told me bluntly that I was not going there. A few weeks later we talked again and he apologized. He told me that if God wanted me to go to Iraq or anywhere else in the world, I would certainly have to go. Encourage your fellow Christians to please God and not man!

Bursting Forth in Glorious Day!

I have to admit, I spent the first fifteen years of my life nearly indifferent to Easter. Compared to Christmas, how could a feastless, presentless holiday like Easter really compete? Even more obvious than that, a holiday celebrating a birth is a whole lot more fun than a holiday about a death. Then again, maybe I had forgotten that Easter wasn’t really about a death... or may I didn’t fully understand the death behind it.

Good Friday music probably started the process. One year my youth group did a human video to Ray Boltz’s song “Watch the Lamb.” In spite of the giggles and jokes that interrupted our practices (visions of a lamb dragging two little boys through the streets of Jerusalem), I was shaken during the performance by that beauty in God’s sacrifice which reached perfection in the ugliness of sorrow.

After I realized the ugliness and the beauty of Good Friday, I could more fully appreciate the “bursting forth in glorious day” of Easter. That line is from a rich modern-day hymn called “In Christ Alone,” and to hear the shouts and cheers during this line on the radio or in church can make any day glorious, Easter or not. Only after I understood that victory was my soul able to heartily thrill at the sounds of “Christ the Lord is Risen Today” and “Up from the Grave He Arose.”

I also had to ask myself the eternal Easter question: Why did Jesus have to die? More often than not, I wind up trying to use the “deep magic” of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia to explain it: all who have chosen to join in the rebellion against the King of kings are consigned to a traitor’s death without a Hero to rescue them, the King Himself.

What we so often do not understand is that it is not Satan that demands this satisfaction, but God the Father, who is so pure and just that to ignore our sin would be going against His very nature. His unfathomable justice and mercy were both satisfied in the deal He proposed: “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” That is from 2 Corinthians 5:21, and is just one of many verses that explains the exchange that took place. We, who are nothing special in ourselves, are poor sacrifices either way--whether we are taken to be eternally punished for our own sin or we humbly give ourselves to our Lord in gratitude. This is why the Father’s substitution was effective, because His blameless Son soaked up every sin that had been or would be committed throughout earthly history and in turn imparted His righteousness to those humans who hear His call. In this way, God’s wrath against sin is perfectly satisfied, and He accepts us as His own children with His Son’s righteousness!

This year, I must confess that Christmas only increased my anticipation of celebrating Jesus’ sacrifice and victory, and my longing for His return. This year during Lent, I pray we would all be pierced by the meaning of Jesus’ death, and that the shout of victory we raise on Easter would be heard around the world by those who long for reconciliation.

And we grow, grow, grow!

I graduated from our Bible School over five years ago now, but my youngest sister’s senior year at AFLBS has caused me to reflect on why God wanted me there. My sister has been trying to figure that out for herself, and I have told her I suppose I don’t understand each part of His purpose in my life either. I suppose it is easier for those who left Bible School with spouses or fiances to assume they know why God sent them there, but obviously God’s plan is a whole lot bigger than that. As for me, it was during my two years at AFLBS that I decided on my major and my vocation and made many wonderful friends. But really, why did God want me there?

In many ways, Bible School would seem to contain all the ideal conditions for Christian growth, wouldn’t it? Students are fed from God’s Word daily in classes, given many opportunities for prayer, strongly encouraged to have daily personal devotions, and required to get involved in at least one type of Christian ministry or service. How could any flower help but bud and bloom in that environment? To most Christians, a place like AFLBS is as close to a spiritual greenhouse as one can get. If you are considering Bible School, know that it is a wonderful, blessed place to be, one that God has used to break and build up many.

However, the greenhouse is not the only place that provides growth, especially if your plant is of the human variety. A plant does not just need sunlight and warmth--it needs rain, too, and may even need a chill to produce a blossom. I say this both because God has a different way that each of us will fit into His master plan and because very few of us will be called to stay in an environment like Bible School for our entire lives. God seems to lead most of us through a variety of settings to facilitate growth, from the greenhouse to the desert to the musty basement (or from Bible School to a secular university to a summer working at a factory, in some cases).

Then there are several different types of growth that Jesus has for us as our gardener, and most of them fit under growth by increase and growth by decrease. Growth by increase would be the more conventional, pleasant way to grow, like the tree placidly and prosperously growing in Psalm 1. That kind of growth can certainly happen at Bible School as individuals steadily increase in knowledge, in faith, and in the fruits of the Spirit. Growth by decrease, on the other hand, is that pruning process that Jesus mentions in John 15. It is a loss of something sinful or unproductive to cleanse the vine to make it stronger. This also can happen at Bible School, as members of the community may need to give up some habits, some relationships, and some ministry opportunities in order to become stronger and rely more fully on God.

Are you where you need to be for God to help you grow? Are you in a place where you are able to hear Him, and more to the point, are you making a personal effort to listen to Him? Consider AFLBS as a place to find your greenhouse or desert. Just don’t assume that you know better than your gardener what kind of soil you need!